Batman Riddles
by Mimick
Summary: A noir Batman story featuring the Riddler.


_**BATMAN: RIDDLES**_

_**Written By Mick Edwards**_

A gathering of meandering criminals had stormed Polask Electronics. Standing on a ledge above and looking down at the scene was the dark knight who had been watching this particular band for some time now.

_You could try being more inconspicuous._

"And lose the thrill of watching this scum wet themselves?"

_Oh right. I forget. You enjoy scaring the shit out of the local hoods._

Batman leaped down allowing the sound of the wind drown out Oracle's rant about the dark knight's theatrical approach to putting terror in the criminal element of Gotham. Before he so much as laid a foot on the street he launched three batarangs at the hoods who were coming toward him. Those three batarangs smacked off the hoods chins and flew around back into the caped crusader's grasp.

"Anyone else want to give it a try," said Batman.

The remaining hoods seemed weary of giving the dark knight detective a go since he had managed to take out three of their number. But one man stepped out from behind the grouping unafraid. He wore a green bowler hat with a purple question mark on it and a tuxedo in the colors of green, black, and purple.

"Hello Batman. I have been expecting you," said the Riddler.

"Nigma," said Batman. "_What_ are you doing here?"

"That would be for me to know detective." The Riddler then took a step back. "And for you to find out."

The hoods then charged at Batman all at once. And as the Batman contended with them the Riddler made his escape.

---

It was not more than an hour later when Batman stepped out of the shadows to approach Commissioner Gordon at the scene of the crime.

"So, what are we dealing with this time?" asked Gordon.

"Edward Nigma."

"The Riddler?"

"Yes."

Gordon rubbed his chin and then took a sip of his cold coffee. "Let me know when you find something."

Commissioner Gordon didn't need to turn to know the Batman had left his presence. By now he had just took it as routine.

---

The Riddler carefully studied the work of his coerced employee to make sure that everything was in proper order. He then wrote out a set of riddles for his group of thugs to set up for the Batman.

"Make sure every one of these riddles is written precisely as I have transcribed," said the Riddler "Otherwise I may be forced to kill whichever one of you that screws up."

The thugs looked amongst themselves before they took the riddles and went off to do the task assigned them.

---

The bats screeched and flapped their dreaded wings as they flew through the batcave. None of them however bothered the owner of the cave who sat in front of a large computer monitor.

"Tea Master Bruce," said Alfred.

"I could use some," Bruce said with his eyes affixed to the monitor.

"Here you go sir."

Batman grabbed the cup and downed it in one gulp. He then set it back down on the tray.

"Thanks Alfred."

"Eh yes. You are welcome."

Alfred walked away with the tray as the Batman watched the monitor looking for anything out of the ordinary. He knew that Nigma could not resist leaving riddles as clues to his crime. So, he waited patiently for something to show up. For a while it seemed like nothing was going to happen, but then a fax came in and Batman looked at it. It said:

_Riddle me this. What weighs ten thousand pounds, shines like silver, and bleeds._

Batman's brow furrowed. Alfred came back this time with a pressed suit.

"Master Bruce. You should prepare for your date with Miss Danielle Blandine."

"Cancel it," said the Batman.

"Very well."

Alfred spied what his master was looking at before he walked off shaking his head disapprovingly.

---

Commissioner Gordon looked at the riddle he received along with the first riddle which was faxed all over the city. And he leaned back in his chair.

_Riddle me this. What goes down, but never comes up. Has no weight. And yet is very strong._

Commissioner Gordon showed it to Detective Montoya and she set it down on the table.

"I think he's talking about gravity."

"How can the Riddler steal gravity?" said Detective Bullock.

"I don't know Harv. Maybe he finally lost it."

"No, he didn't."

The three officers looked to the open window and there stood the Batman.

"I put the two riddles together," said the Batman. "I think the Riddler is planning to steal the uranium shipment coming through Gotham."

"For what purpose?" asked Commissioner Gordon.

"I don't know yet."

"_Oh _that's a real help Bats."

"Enough Bullock!"

"But Commish," said Bullock.

"We don't need this now, Bullock. What have here is a major threat to this city." Gordon then handed Bullock and Montoya back the Riddler's file. "Put out an all points bulletin for the Riddler. And find out when that train is coming in."

"The train comes through at three thirty," said Batman. "That is if it's on time."

"And I suppose you will be there to meet it?"

Batman looked at the commissioner and then jumped out the window. A paf sound marked his departure from the GCPD building.

---

The Riddler steepled his hands as he looked at the work his little coerced playmate had done. Now all that was needed was to commence with the rest of the plan. He grabbed his cane and tapped it against the floor summoning three women dress in green and black outfits fitted with question marks.

"Engima, Conundrum, Quiz." All three women stood at attention. "The Batman should be on his merry way. I hope you three all prepared for him."

The three gave a synonymous answer of yes.

"Good. Now go."

A curt nod from all three and off they went.

---

Batman flew his custom made batwing through the skies following the projected path that the military train transport would take. On his radar he noticed three blips. One being the military transport and the two others registered as stolen helicopter transports. The dark knight brought the batwing down and opened fire rupturing one of the rotors on the helicopters forcing it to crash into the lake below. The other helicopter caught a strafe of fire and the Batman could see that everyone abandoned the copter before it crashed into the tracks behind the transport. Exploding into a big ball of flame.

Setting the batwing to automatic. The dark knight detective used his cape to lower himself onto the speeding train and then applied his tumbling training to reduce the risk of injury. The three women clad in green and black jump suits made their way toward the Batman and he threw smoke pellets at them obscuring their vision and allowing himself to get the advantage of taking them down without hurting any of them.

He then made his way to the transport where the uranium was being kept and noticed four hoods battling the guards. Batman leaped down and dispensed his brand of methodical violence leaving two of the hoods in desperate need of medical attention. And the other two unconscious and lucky. Batman looked at the two guards insignias to see which one was in charge.

"Sergeant, Is everything all right here?" asked the Batman.

"Yeah, thanks to you Batman." The sergeant then checked his fellow men and made sure they were okay.

While Batman looked through the viewing slide to make sure the uranium was safe.

"Make sure to tell Washington that they should tighten security on these transports."

"We will," said the Sergeant. "I'll make sure of it."

The Batman then pressed a button his belt and a line lowered down for him and once he grabbed it the batwing pulled him up until he could get into the cockpit. From there the batwing become a large shadow that cut through the night.

---

The Riddler and the rest of his gang plus his coerced helper rode in a truck towards the better part of Gotham and once in the middle of the downtown business district they stopped in front of a large building. The Riddler got out and took a whiff of the air.

"Ah, doesn't that smell wonderful."

"I-I've done what you said," said a balding man in the cab with the driver. "Please let me go."

"I'm afraid I can't Denis," said the Riddler. "For I have to make sure your device works."

The Riddler motioned his men to grab the Denis out of the cab of the truck and carry him into the building with him tailing behind.

---

Batman flew back towards Gotham wondering why the Riddler was not present. It made no sense to him. Oracle came online and Batman patched her through.

_Batman, I hate to interrupt your trip, but the Gotham Savings and Loan has been broken into._

"When," Batman snarled.

_Two minutes ago._

The dark knight punched the afterburner as he raced back to Gotham.

---

Commissioner Gordon was heading toward the train transport when he heard the call about Gotham Savings and Loan. He immediately ordered as many men as they were available to the scene. And then swirled the car around as he headed for the scene himself.

---

The Riddler watched with baited anticipation as the computer expert Denis worked on cracking the security codes that would allow the king of puzzles access to all the wealth of every single person in Gotham including the elite.

Outside his a large number of his goons protected the bank, but none of them were a match for the Batman as he quickly and quietly took them down one by one. By the time he made it to the skylight. He saw that Riddler was about to gain access to the main computer that controlled all of the electronic accounts in Gotham. He jumped up and smashed down through the skylight with his cape spread wide.

As soon as the few goons left inside started shooting. Batman closed his cape and dropped the last few feet to the floor. And then leaped out of the way as the gunmen tried to get bead on him. Hid behind a tellers desk. Batman pulled three tranquilizer darts from his utility belt. When he saw openings in their defense he popped up and slung the darts into the hoods necks. When he was sure they were down. He eased around to the edge of the tellers desk he was behind.

"Give it up Nigma," said the Batman. "The game is over."

"It's _NOT _over until I say it's over!"

"Have it your way," said the Batman.

The Batman tossed flash bangs which blinded the Riddler and then he ran up and kicked the gun out of Riddler's hand and slammed him through a desk with pamphlets on it.

The Riddler got up favoring his side and he turned to look at the Batman who stared down at him with the white as silk cowl lens.

"So, I faked out the great Batman." The Riddler started laughing. "Whose to say I would never fake you out with my clues detective!"

The Batman slugged the Riddler in the face knocking the prince of brain teasers out and then checked out Denis.

"Are you all right?" asked the Batman.

"I-I'm fine."

"Good."

Batman walked away dragging the Riddler in tow to the waiting police outside.


End file.
